my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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