Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
