idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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