I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
