I feel like I'm in dance class right now
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
