Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
