The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You can't motorboat a personality
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
