My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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