lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
