He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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