Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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