ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT