i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.