the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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