My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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