I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
