1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize