I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
