she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
