Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
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God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
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We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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