Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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