plz talk dirty to me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
