i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
