My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
