that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We need to get me chipped asap
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
