he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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