If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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