You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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