I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I understand Curling. That high.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
