He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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