yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
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He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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