He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
