Where is the hickey?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
