So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
