Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
