We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
There's even glitter on my cock...
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