I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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