I wish you could order shots online.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
my liver is dry heaving
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
