all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
