Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she told me i tasted like america
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Still dying that you shit outside
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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