i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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