I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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