i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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