wake up i wanna do it froggy style
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
