I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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