Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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