Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
