Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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