don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I FOUND THE LEGS
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
