I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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