my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress