imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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