she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize