It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
