Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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