From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
