i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
