Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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