Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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